Let's chat {about wedding ceremony nerves}

It's a gorgeous, sunny afternoon in August.  I am looking beautiful in a cute white gown, some yellow flowers in my hair, some great gal pals crying and being mushy.  Getting ready to meet my grandfather and step out into the yard on the beach where everyone is waiting.  It's a breathtaking view, and I can see Jared at the end of the aisle waiting.

AND THEN: I start to walk, and the music effs up.  Or it's the wrong song.  Then I trip on my heels and break my ankle.  Then I get to my fiance and we both cry so hard that make up flows all over my face.  I try to tell him just how gaga I am for him while 100 people stare at me, but a giant snat bubble blows out of my nose, and when I laugh snat flings out onto my vow cards.  Then I'm going to get red and stumble my words, and Jared will never get the heart pour he was hoping for.

When I first got engaged, I wanted so badly for Jared and I to just get married alone on the beach, with nobody else watching.  Not only is that not possible, but our family and friends would shoot us.  Seriously, or hang us.  We decided to have a small ceremony of just really close family, but no friends.  Because you know, if we invited John1 we had to invite John2, and if we invited John 2 we had to invite Johns 3 4  and 5.  So we went with just family.  I am an open book if you know me.  If we are close my emotions are never in check.  Sorry friends. :)  But, I am pretty reserved if we aren't super close.  Most of my acquaintances don't really know very much about me.  I am awkward and shy, and get nervous talking about myself.

So..... take this awkward chick, and put her in front of 100 people while she pours her heart out to the love of her life.  WHA????  Oh my god.  Scary.

So we told friends that they weren't invited to the ceremony.  The first was confusion, then disappointment, then it seemed even a little heartache from some of our favorite people who wouldn't get to share this experience with us.  I was shocked!!!!  I gotta admit, it opened my eyes to how this may not be the scariest thing in the world.  I mean, if I cry, everyone else will cry right along with me right?  And if I'm snatty from the crying, someone will have a tissue for me right???  (Right Meghan!!??)  And if I don't get to say all those amazing things that I want to Jared, I've got a lifetime to say them, right?

Well, we decided to take the plunge, and have ALL of our loved ones witness. It took some really good girl talk and some really good wine (a lot of wine!), but in the end it puts a cheesy smile on my face (getting teary now actually) to know that my friends really want to be there.  After all, If I can do it in front of Jared's family that I don't know all that well, I can do it in front of my close friends right? 

The vow part still terrifies me.  I don't know why!  I hope that this fades, and that when it's happening the fear will melt away.

What do you think ladies???  Is this normal?  Any good advice would be greatly appreciated.  Any tips???

HELP!

Trish