Monday, April 21, 2014
Thoughts on being 32
32 has been a different year for me than I expected. I went into it thinking I would have a year of leisure, after planning a wedding so much in 31 and getting married. I thought 32 would be a year long bbq on the deck. Not so much though. My head has been filling with ideas about the future, and how I just can't sit on my ass and hope it will show up anymore. Thoughts of career changes, equity, children, family, traditions, and taking steps to make my midlife a happy one. And you know what? I'm ready for it.
It seems like so long ago, and yet just yesterday when the thought of the future freaked my shit out. Maybe it was the wedding. Maybe it was coming out of a funk after quitting my chosen career path and starting over. Maybe it's just, you know, getting older. But, I embrace the idea now. I actually can't wait to be settled into the life I want, which ironically enough, is love, family, security, happiness, all that good stuff. Man, if only my 22 year old self could read this. She'd hate me! So much can change in 10 years I suppose.
Jared and I are talking about big changes in the next year. We're planning to move away from Seattle, somewhere we can live comfortably without breaking the bank. There are a few business ideas being tossed around, and I think we are actually going to make them happen. We decided that after the holidays this year, we are going to stop "trying not" to have children. Maybe not actively trying, but we are going to let go of all that birth control.
Scary stuff? It's really not anymore. I can't believe I feel this way, but it all excites me more than freaks me out. Turns out, domesticated life sounds pretty fulfilling. My switch has been switched.
So 32, here you are. I tried to avoid you like the plague my entire life, but you found me. You've brought some extra wrinkles around my eyes, and even a few gray hairs. But you've also brought a sense of calm that I've never felt before. So, thank you 32.
Guess I'm a mature lady now! Psych.
Cheers to 32 friends!